Jiahui Zhang

Dr. Jiahui Bark Zhang

Canine Hyper-Tail Wagging & Quantum Butt-Sniff Entanglement

“Until you open the treat jar, the dog is both good boy and destroyer of couches.”

PhD in Barkodynamics & Slobber String Theory – Wageningen Woof University
Former Professional butt-sniffer who once sniffed 666 anuses in 6.66 minutes at a dog park
Now Supreme Alpha of Kibble Hadron Colliders™

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🐶 The Drool-Boson Collider

• 88,888 golden retrievers crammed into a tennis-ball CERN
• Corgi launches a 480fps butt-wiggle torpedo → tail-wag amplitude +∞ dB
• Live on DogTok: “Woof~Stream TV” – 8.8M belly rubs, $4.20 kibble-coin tip for ear-flop physics

Paper: “Proof-of-Woof (PoW): A Slobbery Consensus for 7-Year Itch Cycles”, 2025
Critics: “This is a shit-show.”
Bark: “Literally. And it’s 8K macro-lens.”

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🦴 Current Paw-tfolio

• $WOOF – Tokenized tail wag; rugged by a Roomba with PTSD
• $SNIFF – Liquidity pool backed by used tennis balls + expired peanut butter futures
• $ZOOMIES – NFT of a husky mid-sprint (each lap = +13.37% pump, capped at 1/60s)

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🔥 Next Airdrop

“The Great Bark-pocalypse”

• 1 ZOOMIES per good boy who howls “BALL IS LIFE, BUTT IS TRUTH” in a dog park at 3:33 AM
• Bonus: If Scooby-Doo’s IP holder retweets, every pup gets holographic squeaky toys (DLC infinite-squeak patch + slobber shader)